


Safe places (of the mind)

by hope_calaris



Series: Unaware!verse [5]
Category: Star Trek (2009)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-18
Updated: 2012-01-18
Packaged: 2017-10-29 18:11:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/322701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hope_calaris/pseuds/hope_calaris
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I’m Captain James T. Kirk, Captain of the USS Enterprise, NCC-1701, serial number SC 937-0176 CEC.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Safe places (of the mind)

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer:** The moment unicorns are real, Bones and Kirk are gonna make out on the big screen.

He can’t even pinpoint to the exact spot where it hurts. It just _hurts_. Everywhere. All over. And it doesn’t stop. It never does.

“I’m Captain James T. Kirk, Captain of the USS Enterprise, NCC-1701, serial number SC 937-0176 CEC,” he repeats. It’s the only thing left to say – not that he could form any other coherent thoughts anyway. His mind stopped fabricating logical sentences some hours ago, so falling back on that easy code of name and rank is a kind of relief. And it’s the only thing he can still say, the only thing not forgotten in an abyss of pain and darkness. He’s the captain of the finest ship of Starfleet, they’re not going to take this away from him, too.

Pain flares up again, and then he hears raised voices and bodies falling to the floor, but it doesn’t matter. He won’t say anything of importance. He’s not going to betray the trust people have in him. “I’m Captain James T. Kirk, Captain of the USS Enterprise, NCC-1701, serial number SC 937-0176 CEC,” he says once again.

“Jim?” Hands are touching his cheeks, and he flinches backwards, or at least he tries to. The ropes don’t give him much leeway.

“I’m Captain James T. Kirk, Captain of the USS Enterprise, NCC-1701, serial number SC 937-0176 CEC.” He can’t see anything, hasn’t seen anything in what feels like an eternity.

“Damnit, they taped his eye shut. I can’t risk getting that off here.” The voice isn’t talking to him anymore, he knows that, but he still feels compelled to answer. He won’t let them win.

“I’m Captain James T. Kirk, Captain of the USS Enterprise, NCC-1701, serial number SC 937-0176 CEC.”

“Jim?” The hands are back on his cheeks, and he doesn’t even try to flinch back anymore, it seems pointless. The pain will come anyway. “Jim, hey, kiddo, can you hear me?”

“I’m Captain James T. Kirk, Captain of the USS Enterprise, NCC-1701, serial number SC 937-0176 CEC.”

“Spock. Get us beamed right to sickbay.” The hands are running all over his face, pushing his damp hair out of his forehead, and it feels kind of nice and familiar, he admits that. Yet it doesn’t mean that this isn’t just a new tactic to get him to talk.

“I’m Captain James T. Kirk, Captain of the USS Enterprise, NCC-1701, serial number SC 937-0176 CEC.”

“Now, Spock!” The familiar voice barks, a touch of desperation in it, and someone answers “As you wish,” and then Jim can see light through the darkness, before it all vanishes in a silent explosion and he knows no more.

\---

He comes to and the first words out of his mouth are “I’m Captain James T. Kirk, Captain of the USS Enterprise, NCC-1701, serial number SC 937-0176 CEC.”

It’s only then that he blinks against the harsh light assaulting his eyes and wrinkles his nose from the smell of antiseptic hanging in the air.

“Computer, lights to fifty percent,” a voice says softly, and he turns his head.

“I’m Captain James … “ It comes automatically after having said it so often and he can’t stop himself, but the finger on his lips can.

“Shhh … it’s okay.” And Bones looks so tired and worn that Jim wants to agree just to make it all better, but he doesn’t know if he can. “You’re safe,” Bones says and leans closer to him, his warm breath raising goosebumps on Jim’s skin. “You’re here and you’re safe and … please, don’t do this ever again, okay?”

They both know that he can’t promise this, because he’s the Captain and he will always, _always_ risk his own life before he lets anyone else of the crew take his place. Yet he can’t get the words out, even to deny Bones’ his wish, because all he can think of is that he’s the Captain of the USS Enterprise, NCC-1701, serial number SC 937-0176 CEC. All other words seem to be stuck on his tongue.

“Jim?” Bones looks worried at him, his hands caressing Jim’s skin. “Talk to me, please.” And Jim wants to, he really wants to tell Bones that he’s glad the other man came for him, but all that repeats in his mind is that he’s the Captain of the USS Enterprise and he wants that to stop, since there’s so much more he has to say.

Someone coughs slightly and Bones looks up and his hand loses contact with Jim’s skin. He grabs it and doesn’t let go and Bones turns to him again, smiling in a way that’s relieved and desperate at the same time.

“I’m sorry, did I interrupt anything?” It’s Spock, Jim thinks, and he vaguely remembers having heard that voice down on the planet as well.

“Damn well, you did.” Bones now sounds angry and Jim tenses the grip he has on his hands. “He’s in no condition to talk to you.”

Spock isn’t the slightest bit fazed by the ourtburst. “I merely wanted to inquire about the Captain’s physical wellbeing.”

Jim wants to snort at that or optionally tell them both he’s conscious and can very well hear them. Bones seems to have a sixth sense for him, because he turns around again and talks to Jim instead of to Spock. “You’re pumped full of something similar to an hallucinogen, but it’s nearly out of your system. You’re gonna be fine, I just can’t give you anything to sleep right now. I’m not sure about the possible counter reaction.” He directs a pointed glare at Spock. “That enough?”

“It will be sufficient,” Spock says and leaves them to the silence of the sickbay, where Bones sighs in relief. Jim still has his hand twisted around Bones’ wrist and no intention to let it go anytime soon. Bones seems to know that as well, since he wraps his own hand around Jim’s and gently strokes over his torn knuckles.

“Scoot over,” he finally says and Jim is only too happy to comply. Bones’ arms encircle him from behind, radiating solid warmth and his heartbeat is a new mantra Jim can focus on. “You’re Captain James T. Kirk, Captain of the USS Enterprise, NCC-1701, serial number SC 937-0176 CEC,” Bones whispers, “but you’re also Jim. _My_ Jim.”

Jim likes the sound of this, has liked it ever since Bones first said it. He says it over and over again in his head, tries to get his tongue to form the words and falls asleep with them on his lips.

\- fin


End file.
